It’s so easy for a mom to forget who she is as a person. Once you become a mom everything goes towards bringing life to your children, teaching, and nurturing. Your personality, appearance, sleep, and identity can change. We no longer give ourselves any thought.

In this article, I’m going to show you the importance of making yourself a priority.

We may have to work around new schedules, but things we did before we had kids do not have to come to a complete end. We don’t have to let ourselves go just because we are moms. (That’s a scary thing for moms-to-be to see!) The way some moms behave would frighten any non mom from becoming a parent because they make it seem like you have to give up your identity just to have a child. That’s not true.

Here are 3 reasons moms can lose their identity:

1. Their lives revolve around their kids.

You have to come to the realization that you can still be on duty 24/7 and be involved in other things. I’m a homeschool mom. Although my daily routines revolve around my kids, the entire meaning of my life doesn’t.

Sounds mean? Nope! I’d give my life for them. But there has to be a balance. That does not mean I love them too little or I’m not thankful for them. I also make it clear that their father comes first.

I know many helicopter moms that feel like they can’t break away to do anything on their own or with their husband. Their marriage suffers because if it. Grab a babysitter! Don’t feel guilty. They will survive—and so will you.

Bonus: Your husband will be so excited to have your focus. Keep your love for each other growing. You have to live with him longer than you do your kids. Haha!

2. They stop caring what they look like.

Working moms are forced to put their faces on in the morning and dress up to get out the door. Stay-at-home moms can easily fall off that band wagon. It’s easier to stay in your jammies all day with no make up and your hair in a bun eating all the things your kids didn’t finish . . . EXCEPT when it starts to mess with your self confidence.

It can cause you to feel like you’re not the woman you once were. This becomes a trap. Now the enemy can begin to lie to you about anything and tear down your confidence. We should be cautious what we put in our bodies.

Certain clothes can make anyone feel like a new person. If that’s what it takes, then make an extra effort to do your make up, hair and wear something nice at least a few days a week just as if you had to leave the house. Even if it’s just a fashion show for your tiny viewers you’ll be happy!

Take a few days for exercise. Digital apps have made it so easy. No one needs to leave the house nowadays. Jesus gave us a body and we have to properly take care of it. It benefits you and teaches your children the importance of it by example. Don’t lose sight of who you once were.

3. No time spent in the word of God.

You’ll lose your identity quickly. I get a lot of questions like “how do you find the time to focus on Jesus?” I travel full time, run a ministry, am a wife and a homeschooling mom of three.

It’s true that almost every moment is accounted for when your children wake up, but at the end of the day, why does Jesus have to take the back burner? I will never fully fulfill my role as a mother if I don’t go to the Word of God to fill up my spirit man.

How can I be a good wife? How can I be a good mother? How can I know my identity in Christ if I spend no time with Him? Even though, as moms, our days consist of so many errands, naps, cooking, sports, etc., we still have to schedule time with the Lord just like we do for everything else.

For me, morning is the best. I purposefully set my alarm early to get up before the kids to read the Word and pray. It sets the atmosphere for my day. My mood starts off in peace so when things get hectic I know how to react.

Other moms might need to take nap time as their chance to read and pray. We all have time at some point during the day to choose. If all we do is give out and we don’t fill ourselves up, we will burn out and become ineffective.

As moms, it’s vital that we keep a clear vision of our purpose in front of our eyes. Everything we do should be driven by our God-given purpose. I did an entire podcast episode on that topic. I know you’ll enjoy it.

We are always taking care of others, but in the whirlwind of life we have to make sure we take care of ourselves. We have to evaluate these areas. Keep our tanks full as we do the job God has called us to do.

Love you! —Carolyn